Accidental Suicide

In my attempted to get healthier, I almost killed myself, on accident of course. So, I read somewhere that Fergie drinks Braggs apple cider vinegar to melt belly fat. Well, I want to melt belly fat. So it says on the Braggs bottle to take a table spoon of the vinegar before every meal. Being the obedient student that I am, I measure out a tablespoon of the murky, smelly liquid. I open my mouth and throw the juice down the hatch. Well, the stuff hit the thing that hangs down in the back of my throat and felt like battery acid hitting raw flesh. My throat immediately closed up and I began to choke and gasp and tear up. The sad thing was there was no one there to save me. I couldn't breathe and my poor little uvula(I just googled the name, look I'm no medical major) was searing with pain. No wonder Fergie has no belly fat, I'm surprised she can eat at all after choking that stuff down. I'm just saying'.